Half the Pain I'm Still Going Through
by EvilGeniusBookWorm13
Summary: After Big Time Break Up. Why did James put his arm around Kendall like that at the end? Delves deep into their love for one another! XD Rated M for swears and smut! Dominant!Kendall  Shocker!


**A/N:**** Sum1cooler gave me this idea. :) And inspired it with their one-shot of One Shot, One Off. It's my first dominant Kendall smut, so go easy on me! XD I hope it's ok! I tried my hardest! :) And also, kaitlynluvskames asked me for some dominant Kendall smut. So...here it is!**

Half the Pain I'm Still Going Through

We were eating dinner when it all unfolded.

Kendall didn't eat. Mrs. Knight got pissed.

She told Kendall that he was overreacting. As if the love of his life wasn't important.

I thought I was pretty important.

Oh...I wish I could say that and it could be true.

But...it's not.

Kendall shouted and left, slamming the door to our bedroom.

Everyone was quiet.

Logan set his fork down. He didn't finish eating.

Carlos pushed his food around. Why bother eating? He wasn't hungry anymore.

I quietly munched on the now bland food.

Mrs. Knight looked at me.

"James."

I looked up.

"You're the only one who can calm Kendall down."

I nodded.

"Please..."

I nodded again and stood, leaving them at the table.

I found the door locked.

I rolled my eyes and picked it in the matter of seconds.

Kendall should have known...we did it all the time as kids.

I turned and shut and locked it before I faced Kendall.

He was lying on his bed face down, gripping the sheets as his shoulders shook.

What had happened to me? When did Jo become so important?

I had always been there for him. I was the one he came to with his problems.

Then he met her.

What Kendall and I once had diminished. Crumbled softly in the palm of my hand and slipped through the cracks of my fingers.

And, no matter how much I tried to fix it...it couldn't be.

The unfixable cannot be fixed.

I could not be fixed.

I was too far gone and broken.

I would never let Kendall see that.

He was looking at me now. Wiping away his tears and putting on his god damned mask.

I hated that mask.

It would have never existed if he hadn't met me.

I wore one all the time. He didn't.

I knew how to hide my emotions from everybody. He didn't.

Until I taught him.

Showed him how I did it.

How I just shoved it all down and locked it there.

"Don't give me that poker face, Kendall. I know it when i see it because i taught it."

He looked down, frowning.

"You're still wearing it."

He looked up again. His bottom lip trembling and eyes watering.

I walked over to him and put my arms around him.

"She's g-gone."

I nodded. No freaking dur, Captain Obvious.

"I...When she left...the plane took off, you still were there. You still put your arm around me and supported me."

I nodded again.

"Why?"

I sighed. God, he's dense.

"James...how can you just help me through all this when deep down it's hurting you like hell? You've admitted it to me! Screaming it at me in one of our now weekly fights!"

I looked down. Why did I do that? I was supposed to keep it all inside and away from Kendall.

"James...how can you still be my friend after what I did to you?"

I scowled. You know the answer to that one, Kendall.

"Please...I just need to make sure I'm right. That it's real. I need to hear you say it."

I looked up at him, glaring into his gorgeous green eyes. "Say what?"

"Your love for me. I need to make sure that you fell for some no good, first grade asshole like me."

"I fell for Kendall Knight, the guy I knew in Minnesota before a new Kendall Knight stepped in and broke my heart right before we left."

Kendall looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it."

Kendall stared me in the eyes. "I know."

I sighed. How could I still love him? We were together and happy as ever in Minnesota. Then, right before we left, he broke it off. Shattered my heart and stomped on it then burned the pieces. Then collected the ashes in an urn and tucked it under his bed for safe keeping.

And then when we moved here, he met Jo and 'fell in love' all over again. Only this time, he was the one feeling the pain.

It felt nice not to be the only one in pain.

"How could you love a chicken shit like me?"

I smiled. It was one of the sayings he blurted out the first time we said 'I love you' to each other.

I didn't answer him just like I didn't the first time.

Kendall sighed. "Do you even still love me?"

Really, Kendall? Really? I thought I made it as obvious as an uncomfortable Logan in an awkward situation. Like...when Carlos cracks one of the sex jokes...Logan immediately starts getting all hot and bothered.

Kendall groaned in frustration and stood up. "Will you talk to me?"

I stood up. "Why? So you can trample over my heart all over again?" I pushed him back onto the bed. "I gave you my heart and you ripped it up and threw it back at me. Ever since, I've been trying to fix it but only one person can! And you know what that fucker's been doing?" Kendall looked scared. Good. "He's been obsessing over his new girlfriend and moping about her now that she's gone. At least you know half the pain I'm still going through."

Kendall looked taken aback.

Good.

I pushed him so he was lying on his back as I crawled on top of him. I stabbed my finger in his chest.

"You think the pain's gotten any fucking better over the past year?" I laughed demonically. "No! It's gotten worse!"

Kendall looked really scared now. Like, my step Dad just came home drunk and angry scared.

Was I taking this too far?

"I hope you're happy." I growled, not moving as I hovered over his fearful eyes.

He swallowed thickly. "James...please..."

"What?" I whispered hotly in his ear, making sure to puff hot breath on it.

"Stop."

"Afraid you're going to get hurt?" I nibbled the lobe a bit.

"Stop!"

"Afraid of me now, Kenny?"

"James!" he shoved me off of him, causing me to land on the floor.

What's gotten into me?

As much as I am vain and sarcastic and narcissistic and cunning... I would never wish someone the pain I went through.

And yet I was giving Kendall a taste of his own medicine.

That vile, disgusting thing that made you writhe with hurt and made your body wrack with sobs.

Why did I do that?

I still love him. But to wish him pain or harm?

I could never.

"James..."

He was staring at me in shock. His hair a mess, his cheeks flushed, his shirt rumpled, and a slight bulge in his pants.

Oooh... I was good. Scary good.

I stood up and made my way to the door. "I'm sorry."

He grabbed my wrist and tugged me back. "Sorry doesn't cut it."

I smiled. Way to use my words against me.

"It will if you forgive me for what I did, though. I regret it with my whole being, James. If I could rewind time to change that, I would." Ha. So he still liked me.

I sighed. "I wouldn't."

He looked at me like I was insane.

I probably was.

"Cuz if I did, then we wouldn't be here right now, teaching each other a lesson."

Kendall frowned. What did he think I was going to do? Kiss him? Yeah right. In his (wet) dreams that I'm pretty sure I haunt.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I never stopped loving you and you bring up morals?"

I nodded and smirked. "Yep."

He rolled his eyes again. "You fucking asswipe."

"Whatever, chickenshit."

He scowled. I laughed. His scowl deepened.

Why couldn't I just hate him? It would make things a lot more easier so I didn't feel like jumping him with that adorable scowl on his face.

It's what he probably wanted me to do anyway.

What was I to deny him?

I couldn't take it.

What got into me? First being all creeper predator and now this?

You're now probably wondering what 'this' is...

It's me grabbing Kendall by the waist and shoving him into the door and smashing my lips to his.

Yep.

Whose insane now?

_*sing song voice*_ I am!

One of my hands had taken ahold of his wrists, the other working my belt off and tying it around his wrists and pinning them to the door by one hand. I had one knee in-between his legs, rubbing his hard on shamelessly. I had one hand holding his hip while the other held his wrists. I had my mouth on his, tongues fighting and lips smashing.

I pulled back. His eyes were blown wide with lust and love. His hair was unfixable now. Unless he took a shower. With me. After some escapades.

Snap out of it, James. Stop letting your dick make the decisions. No matter how hard it was.

And it was starting to throb and hurt.

Kendall's was too by the looks of it.

I nibbled his ear lobe again as I rubbed my knee to his bulge. "Spill to me your big secret, Kenny."

"I...I l-love you."

I smiled. Yes.

He then pressed his knee to my bulge, making me throw my head in the crook of his neck.

"Tell me yours, Jamesy."

I moaned. "I love you, too."

He nudged my head out of his shoulder and pouted.

He knew I couldn't resist his pouts.

So I didn't kiss him. Instead, I left open mouthed kisses down his jaw and neck, reaching his pulse. I started to suck and lick, moaning at the pop my lips made as they came off the now showing bruise.

Kendall moaned, throwing his head back against the door. In turn, I took his shirt off...only to be stopped by his buckled hands.

Damn.

He smirked as I unbuckled them to take his shirt off.

He took the opportunity to push me to the bed.

Where I turned and threw him down.

He wasn't the dominant one in this relationship.

No siree.

Until he flipped us over so I was on bottom.

I guess he was this time around.

I could handle that.

It was hot. Seeing him hovering above, sweating, and shoving his dick into my asshole.

I like this dominant Kendall.

He shoved my shirt off, licking down my chest. He licked my nipples, sucking on them until they pebbled. He left a hot trail down over my abs and through my happy trail, smirking when he reached my pants.

He pressed a kiss to the bulge threatening to rip my pants and I moaned out.

He was always one for teasing.

The ass.

He then proceeded to unbutton and unzip my pants, shoving them down so I was in my boxers.

They were gone in seconds.

Leaving me and my member open to him.

He gently licked a line over the tip all the way to the bottom before coming up again. He took the tip into his mouth and sucked harshly, making me moan in pleasure. He then took my dick fully into his mouth, and I couldn't help but buck my hips.

He put his hands on my hip bones, pressing down so I couldn't buck into the velvetiness. He pulled off with a popping noise, making me groan in annoyance.

Such a tease.

He stood up off the bed to pull his pants and boxers down as well before climbing on top of me.

He situated himself in between my legs, pushing two fingers into my mouth.

I quickly coated them with saliva, making sure to use my tongue obscenely.

I'm a tease, too.

He pulled them out, trailing them down my body, over my dick and balls, before reaching my entrance. He gently pushed one in, rubbing my thigh as I bit my lip. After I relaxed, he added a second finger, causing me to cry out. He pressed a kiss to my hip, gently scissoring his fingers and getting me to relax some more. He pushed in a third, causing me to bite back another cry. Tears were pooling, and God...it hurt so much.

Until he found that spot.

That one spot inside that makes your mind go numb with pleasure. He worked my hole open as he pushed gently against that spot, making sure I was ready.

He spit into his hand and coated his cock before lining it up with my prepared entrance. He pushed forward slowly before he was buried deep.

I gripped his shoulders tightly. "Give me a minute"

He nodded, sighing as my hole contracted a little bit.

After a few seconds, I pushed down, causing him and I to both moan out. He pulled back before thrusting back in slowly. I couldn't help the growl that escaped.

"Go faster!"

He only responded with another thrust. One that was harder and faster.

And soon we had a steady pace, him thrusting in and out as I pushed down in sync.

I don't know when he started stroking. Probably around the time he started stabbing my prostate.

Either way, I was wondering where the ceiling went.

There were stars all over it!

And soon enough, I was spilling my seed all over his fist, and he was coating my insides with his own.

He gently pulled out before collapsing on me, our sweat-slick bodies molding together well.

He kissed my forehead and stood, disappearing into the bathroom before coming out again, holding a wet clothe. He cleaned both of us off before tugging me under the covers, spooning me close to him.

"I love you, Jamie."

"I love you, too, Kenny. And I swear to God; if you break my heart again, I'll release Logan on you."

"I won't. I promise. But what's he going to do?" Kendall asked, laughing.

I smiled. "Kill you in the worse way possible...bore you to death."

Kendall feigned hurt. "He wouldn't!"

I laughed. "Oh...he will."

Kendall pulled me closer. "Goodnight, James."

I smiled. "Goodnight, Kendall."

And with that, I was pulled into the darkness of sleep in the arms of my newly acquired boyfriend.

**A/N:**** how was that? Not bad for some newbie to dominant Kendall! (Lol I'm so used to dominant James. Feels nice to change it up once in a while! XD) well, I hoped you liked it Consider it a present of the Fourth of July! Happy Independence Day! **

**Please, REVIEW!**


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